Monday, 17 July 2017

Anatomy Of A Name

Name Speaks !

"Just Because You Know My Name, 
Doesn't Mean You Know My Story"

My name generates inquisitiveness.Acquaintances say it is a bit difficult to pronounce, doesn't give away my religion or region I belong to and is atypical for a person belonging to the 70's generation of Punjab. 
My mother named me after the female protagonist of a novel she had read during her MA English days - the name of the novel she is unable to recall!
It may sound self glorification - I am yet to meet my Namesake !

My name resonates Mightiness Magnanimity & Mythology.
I am a practising Hindu but my name has roots in Buddhism, its a derivative of 'Avalokitesvara' - the Bodhisttava of compassion.There are sixteen  recognised Bodhisttavas . I always had a yearning to understand the interpretation of my name.Whenever a chance arose i visited Buddhist monasteries and temples. I googled , I read articles on Buddhism, I sought answers from my Buddhist friends. For me my name remains a reason to learn the rationale of religion.

I suppose that the name manifests singularity. Though scientifically unproven psychologists maintain your persona is 1/4th of what your name means.If you call someone "motu" ," piggy" or even "baby" for long periods, the person gravitates towards being one becomes edgy ends with psychological depredation. 
The name should take one to solo ego trips. 
Simple Suggestions :
  1. Take time. The prerogative of naming children lies with PARENTS.
  2. The name shouldn't be the most difficult or the strangest.
  3. The child(adults alike) should know the genesis of his/her name.
  4. Religious / Regional barriers should be totally conquered while naming children .Why should a Sikh name end with preet, deep or jeet ? Why cannot a Hindu name end with preet,deep or jeet? Shouldn't we promote  Indianness rather than elevating clan , community or region?
  5.  The name should essentially be constructive , affirmative and gender confirming.
  6. Just like bullying , body shaming , making fun of other people's name is wicked.
  7. Avoid sharing bedroom names with anyone.The awkward pet names(if any) should remain within the immediate family.


 (Straight from )
- Lord who contemplates 
the Bodhisattva who embodies the compassion of all Buddhas.
According to the 'Karandavyuha Sutra' the Sun and the Moon 
are said to be born from the eyes of Lord Avalokistevara.
Shiva from brow,
Brahma from shoulders,
Sarasvati from teeth,
Earth from feet and 
the Sky from stomach.

Lord Avalokitesvara 
Macleodganh, Dharmasala.
There is significant difference between Buddha and Boddhisttava.
A Buddha is an individual who has attained enlightenment and is free from the six realms of reincarnation while Boddhisttava is the one who has achieved enlightenment but chose to stay in this world to aid all other beings towards spiritual insight.

From the road trip 2017 pages:

The present day Bodhi tree believed to be the descendant of the original tree. The tilt is supported by iron pillars .The tree is massive and leaning on one side being supported by Maha Bodhi temple on the other. It is indeed mythical. The temple architecture is clear defined yet intricate.Lotus predominates. (Read my reviews on )

The diamond throne was added to the temple by emperor Asoka at the exact spot where Lord Buddha sat.The supporting structure obstructs direct view of the throne though.

The kid man at Dhamekh stupa , Sarnath, 20 minutes drive from Varanasi cantonment .It was here in Sarnath that Lord Budha gave his first sermon seven weeks after attaining enlightenment in Bodh gaya.The stupa is 128 feet high and 93 feet broad and has inscriptions written in brahmi script. 

The ruins of ancient monasteries near the stupa site.The site is in the tentative list of UNESCO heritage.

Wednesday, 7 June 2017

कुछ स्वाल कुछ बातें *1

ताज कल भी आज  भी 


जिसे मैंने कई साल पहले देखा था। पिताजी की केन्द्रीय सरकार की नौकरी का सबसे बड़ा फैयादा 

 l t c था जिसके रहते साल दो साल में यहां वहां घूमना हो जाया करता था। उस साल पिताजी हमें दिल्ली , जयपुर आगरा का golden triangle घूमाने ले गए थे। 
सर्दी की सुबह थी , धुंध थी चारों ओर! मशहूर "lady diana "  संगमरर स्टूल पे बैठे तस्वीरें खींचना जोर शोर से जारी था। कभी भाई ,कभी पिताजी फुर्ती से  'खचाक  खचाक ' तस्वीरें खींच  रहे थे।  
मैं चुपचाप था। शायद वो चारबाग़ ,मुग़ल बाग़  ,फुहारे, रंग बिरंगे फूल , आस पास के  लाल बलुआ पत्थर  के मकबरे,शाही द्वार  मेरे युवा मन को लुभाने में असफल थे। 
फिर कुछ ऐसा घटा मानो  पर्दा छटता हो जैसे ।मद्धम मद्धम सूरज की कुछ सुनहरी  किरणे ताज पे पड़ी और पूरा नज़ारा बदल गया।  वो जिसकी तस्वीर सिर्फ किताबों में देखी थी जिसके बारे में केवल सुना था मेरे
सामने ,बिल्कुल सामने था । अद्भुत , आलोकिक , शानदार। 
विश्व का सातवां अजूबा, हां अजूबा ही तो था। विशाल , सफ़ेद दूधिया संगमर्रर - मोहब्बत की दास्ताँ सुनाता हुआ। 
कई घंटे बीत गए  पर मेरी नज़र ताज पे गड़ी रही। गुमसुम सा , बेसुध सा मैं कभी guide के कहे अनुसार मीनारों को देखता कभी आयतों को ,कभी मुग़ल इतिहास को समझने की कोशिश करता, कभी  पिताजी के कहने पर torch से नक्काशी जाली पे रोशनी करता।

अबे! चल न कब तक यू ही निहारता रहेगा? " भाई ने खीज भरे स्वर में कहा था।
"बस थोड़ी देर और ' मैंने  मुनहार  की। 
"नही अब और नही, फिर आ जाना जब तेरी  मोहब्बत तेरे साथ होगी और बैठे रहना यहीं " । भाई ने बोला था। 
"क्या भाई आप भी "कह कर मैंने exit  की ओर कदम बढ़ाये थे।


जून की दुपहरी में तुम मेरे साथ खड़ी हो, चिलचिलाती धूप  से बेपरवाह, वही जहां मैने ताज को पहली बार देखा था। 

ठीक वैसी ही चमक तुम्हारी आँखों मे भी झलकती मैंने देखी। १५ साल के शादीशुदा जीवन में न जाने कितनी बार मैंने तुम्हे यहाँ लाने की कोशिश की थी। कभी जेब साथ नहीं देती तो कभी हालात।

काश ! मैं तुम्हे बता पाता  वर्षों पुरानी वो छोटी सी घटना ।

पर क्या तुम समझ पायोगी?

मेंरी नादानी का उपहास तो न करोगी?

कहूंगा एक दिन लेकिन जरूर यही पर क्योंकि ताज और मैं  दोनों जानते हैं  प्यार क्या है...!!!

Friday, 2 June 2017

कुछ स्वाल कुछ बातें

Beginning a new segment on my Blog.
"कुछ स्वाल कुछ बातें" in Hindi.

For reasons unknown English has always been my first choice of writing though it's not even my mother tongue.

The convent schooling facilitated to think & write in the Queen's Language.
English certainly has a wider reception & a large readers base but i fear human emotions get lost in translation if not conveyed the way they are felt & dealt with.

Hope my tribe agrees !

Friday, 26 May 2017

What We Can Do This Summer!

  lets Do something interesting this Summer !
lets take a Road Trip !
Stay Connected Tribe .

Wednesday, 17 May 2017

Sometimes Sweet Sometimes Silly Short Stories #004


"hello,hello mama"
"hello , Jasveen ! how are you my child? where are you? weren't you to leave for Malaysia?
"mama , mama listen"
"ya i am listening, all OK?"
"yes all good.we are at New Delhi  airport through with all the formalities.The flight for Kaula Lampur leaves shortly."
"i understand! hope you are liking this new phase my child . where is Yudhveer?"
"my in-laws seem genuine and caring but i miss you a lot. i am in the rest room and Yudi is getting currency exchanged. mama i have something to ask".
"what ?"
"do you by any chance know where Gulabo could be?"
"Gulabo? i don't know what you are talking about.....wait that old pink diary of yours that looked like an ancient journal of mysticism?"
"yes,yes and for me it will always remain Gulabo, my buddy, 
my confidante"
"hm i saw you keeping it in your small pink suitacase among your essentials - certificates,documents, Dhillon sahib's framed picture , Shri Japji sahib".
"i found everything else but for Gulabo. wonder whose hands it might have fallen into?"
"what concerns you more Jasveen? the last gift from your late father or its contents?"
"i guess both. Daddy bought it from Leh as a special gift for my thirteenth birthday. the last birthday together. Gulabo knows everything about me mama."
"don't spoil your mood and your honeymoon. focus on the new life instead. Yudhveer is a nice boy, he deserves your love, attention and respect."
"it was hand crafted , limited edition and moreover i thought I'd show it to Yudi".
"Jasveen, Jasveen, Gulabo must be at a place where it rightly should be. always remember a part of woman's life should always remain with her - unshared & untouched".
"isn't marriage all about sharing? 
"it is my child it is but present and future"
"mama the flight is announced, got to go, will call you once we reach,Whats app the stuff you want, bye love you".
"love you darling enjoy to the fullest.may Waheguru guide you and guard you".

Thirty minutes later.........

eyes closed , holding her husband's hand , Jasveen excitedly soared in the air towards her new life her mother's words echoing in her ears- present and future.

eyes closed ,counting the beads of her rosary Mrs Ruby Dhillon prayed for her daughter's happiness, her only child and the only family she had.

And Gulabo ? 

well it was laid gently by mama Dhillon next to her jewellery, property papers and  other valuables.
a 3 digit code reassuringly shut pages of Jasveen's past , fears , ambitions, secrets , heart breaks , life changing moments & experiences - unshared and untouched.

Sunday, 23 April 2017

Sometimes Sweet Sometimes Silly Short Stories #003

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“I don’t think I am ready for this.”
“Don’t you start off again.You have wasted enough years already.”
“I look obnoxious in this dress......this costume.....”
“No you don’t."
"Everyone is going to laugh at me.”
“Let them. I am there to hold your hand.Now is probably the last chance. Do what you always wanted to."
“What if something happens?”
“I am not answering that. Don’t you trust me?”
“I do. I do.”

Holding his hand firmly she moved out,confident.
He led her carefully towards the hotel swimming pool,smiling.
Today on their 25th wedding anniversary,
He will teach her how to swim. 
She will learn.
Their gift to each other.

Thursday, 13 April 2017

Forty Winks: Caterpillar

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Wednesday, 12 April 2017


Dear Miss D

Congratulations! Today you turn thirteen.
Motherhood wasn’t serendipitous, I chose you my child.
For reasons known only to a mother’s heart, you forever will remain my most loved one.
Believe me there haven’t been many blissful instants,
Like the one when I first held you in my arms.

Hang around my little caterpillar, metamorphosis is imminent.

Approach womanhood confidently, your body is nothing to feel mortified about.
With raging hormones playing the game, persuasions will be hard to resist.
The commotions outnumbering the moments of mental repose.
Friends will seem fun, family uncool and you would wish to do it all.
I pray the teen aches be less painful and heart beaks a few.

Hang around my little caterpillar, metamorphosis is Imminent.

The world is not entirely virtuous ironically society is censorious.
Be wary of silver-tongued slimes, never let your guard down.
Decision making will be challenging than ever before,  
Choose your goals realistically without losing sight of ethos.
The candle of Faith will guide you through.

Hang around my little caterpillar, metamorphosis is imminent.

Love Always

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Saturday, 25 March 2017

Sometimes Silly Sometimes Sweet Short Stories #002


"Who is she, Grammy?"
(asked 16 year old Matthew his grandmother pointing to his father's closet. Dr Nicholas Sebastian , Matthew's father was a renowned cardiologist.He was gentle but too articulate to let anyone touch his belongings.Today three weeks after his death,his closet lay wide open.)

"Suchitra....... .Suchitra Sen your father's favourite" 
(Jennifer said softly staring at the old tattered poster of the famous actress.The only poster her dutiful son ever bought.)

"Favourite...... actress ....didn't know he liked watching movies never took us out......he never cared for anyone but himself......"  
(Matthew said exasperatedly ,the revelation about his melancholic father was too much to bear)

"Your father cared for everyone but he loved Suchitra ..."
(Jeniffer fought back tears as her trembling hands felt the poster )

In the stillness of the night lay awake old Jennifer, seeking forgiveness from her son for not letting him marry the girl he loved till his last breath.
Dr Suchitra Sharma - a non catholic.

Thursday, 16 March 2017

Sometimes Silly Sometimes Sweet Short Stories #001


"Oh God, its him" muttered Tapasya

 her eyes having  met the gentleman's standing two rows across.
"Hope he doesn't recognise me"
"How would he ,its been 20 years?
" I don't even look the way I used to"
"My whole family is here..."
"I am never coming out on weekends again"
"We could have gone to ......

"Ah! he didn't..

Men have a different mechanism to get over after all" she sighed.

"Tapasya....... ..."  she heard him call out.
Her heart stopped. Her gazed transfixed. 
Sweat running down her back. Throat parched. Her body numb

"Just one selfie ...Papa....." 

Men have a different mechanism to get over after all.

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Monday, 13 March 2017

Sometimes Silly Sometimes Sweet Short Stories

Ever wondered ?
What is the most difficult task to accomplish in the Emotional Cosmos?

Understand Silence.

Best  are the ones who convey everything without  saying much.
Blessed are the ones who decipher it all.

Influenced by real life situations and individuals around me,
I present the second segment of my blog-
Sometimes Silly Sometimes Sweet Short Stories.

Stay Connected

Sunday, 12 March 2017

Real Style For Real Women

"Fashion is what offered to you four times in a year,
Style is what you pick out of that"

Summer Twenty Seventeen is here.I bring to you crisp compilation of the season's must haves.Whether you are young or young at heart I desire you add at least three of these in your closet. These picks work like Maggie noodles providing instant gratification of hunger, hunger to look classy..!!
I have intentionally missed out shorts, cold / off shoulder tops and printed ganjis because many of my kind feel uneasy wearing these.

But first a simple suggestion: 
  • if you feel you will not be able to score a success with the look in public go for a "try-out" at home for one whole day.This will help you to earn honest reviews from friends and  family. It may also help you to gain confidence before stepping out .
  • buy the least expensive make of the accessory (try the mentioned sites/instagram pages) once positive that you can carry the statement piece with panache go for the high end one.
  • before you scroll down to know whats in ; break up with those palazzos , mid length kurtis , churidars , plain sneakers and straight pants. Don't wish to throw them yet- wait for Rebound.

1) Be Nosexy 
Nose rings have come a long way from being a humble wedding essential to ramp scorcher.The nathni/natth was generally tucked away in the bank locker only to surface on karvachauth but surprisingly this is the most sought after fashion accessory this season. For the non pierced nose - opt for clips. 
Try +Voylla  +Kraftly +Instagram sellers 

image courtesy @pinterest
image courtesy 

2) Banjaran Balika
 Its the season of kutch/sindhi handwork blouses , cholis , jackets,clutches and bags.In the latest chart buster  "tamma tamma" reloaded actress Alia Bhatt is seen wearing such jacket- a sure enough reason to own one piece☺ 
Try +Craftsvilla +Desically Ethnic 
Image courtesy
Image courtesy +Pinterest 

image courtesy

3) Ring-a-Ring ☕
Bold finger rings are so much in trend.These versatile rings go very well with western and ethnic wear.There is a whole lot to choose from vintage coin / druzy/ kundan /two finger /thumb / german silver.One needn't be size zero to wear and flaunt rings..!!
Try  +Voylla

this is my personal collection bought from +Instagram sellers thevelvetbox.tvb , blissfulaccessories
4) Do It With Mat-te
Fashion gurus state that matte nails paints & liquid lipsticks are here to stay.A hack -apply mattefying nail coat (readily available on all cosmetic stores) over your regular nail polish to get desired effect(wish there was a hack for lipsticks too).
image courtesy 
image courtesy +Pinterest 

5) Afghan Jalebi
The German silver /92.5 silver / alloy / oxidised silver Afghan jewellery has taken over the imitation market market with a swoosh.
From Sonam Kapoor to Vidya Balan many celebrities are seen sporting the trend gleefully.
Try +Jaypore there are plenty of sellers at +Instagram 

Image courtesy +Pinterest 

image courtesy +Instagram +Pinterest 

6) Maxi dresses 
The best part about a maxi dress is that it flatters every body shape. If trying for the first time opt for an A line ankle length maxi. In case there are still size and fit issues get your local darzi to stitch one.You can use old cotton/linen /printed georgette sarees.
Try  +The Meraki Project

image courtesy +Pinterest 

7) Foot-Print
No ensemble is complete without chic footwear.The feet need TLC too.This summer go for a cutest & quirkiest pair of printed shoes/ sneakers/ espadrilles/ lace up.
These shoes look the best with dresses,jeans,skirts,shorts or culottes. Try +20Dresses +Sole Sisters Foot care Limited
image courtesy +Amazon.i
image courtesy +Myntra 

 Adding freshness to dressing style, playing around with your looks and being a little flirtatious  with accessories won't do any harm.

I wish my tribe stylish,coolest & happy Summer!!

Tuesday, 7 March 2017

The 8th Of March Visit to discover Indian blogs

yay yay yay its the 8th of march !
my fb profile is updated & whatspp dp changed.
sent forwarded re forwarded re re forwarded messages,
wishing everyone Happy Women's day!
adrenalin is rushing though me for  I've been waiting for weeks,
to flaunt  those original fake Zara dresses with  mineral make up in place.
so much to do and so less time,
 will probably skip the seminar on domestic violence,
to attend jewellery exhibition  and free mexican lunch.
an all women club social in the evening is for sure
where i hope to win free passes to the movie Pink!

Excuse me what did u just say?
How different  this Women's Day going to be from the last several ones ?
Did i cheer, inspire, promote at least one of my tribe?

but why should i even try ?
 I didn't spend 10K on the grooming sessions to do all that?
for that  is the job of REAL WOMEN !

Monday, 6 March 2017

Forty Winks Visit to discover Indian blogs

                                          Knock! Knock! Knock! 

Me: " Who is it?" 
My Fortieth Year(MFY):"Its Me Your 40th year" Winks at me. 
Me: " Why are you here just yet? I wasn't expecting you until six months and why on earth do you sound so intimidating?"  
MFY:"Ah...there you go again. Until six months? I have been there for quite sometime now--Look at yourself.Your body resembles the diagram of an amoeba-grossly asymmetrical,the top and the middle heading steadfastly south,hormones confused not knowing what to do,your mood oscillates more than the pendulum of the vintage clock in the living room,your skin is so uneven that every inch on your face needs a different shade of foundation , your nails chipped atta permanently stuck at the nail bed , your heels cracked & your hair dry and lustreless.(Looking around the room)Does that weighing machine still work ? Thought it would have died of asphyxia ...(laughs)"
Me: "Is that why you are here to tell me what my husband's distant cousin's (ex)air hostess wife been asking me for past three weeks-Babes have  you put on more weight?"

MFY: (with serious expression)"Doesn't body shaming affect you?" 
Me:"I does.It infuriates me that women have ceased to look beyond physical appearances.Getting thin is all that they can think of,weight is all that they can talk about.Where have all the bright women gone? Its been months since i have had a real conversation." 

MFY:"Haven't you heard your mother and other aunties mentioning the havoc I create in their lives? Aren't you scared that you might not look the way you used.How will you get past this phase?"

Me:"I am a fighter- A Survivor. I have witnessed a whirlwind of activity in these four decades.The overt disciplinarian schooling,the persistent parental pressure to achieve academic excellence,the turmoil of the teenage years with zero guidance from home, undesirable male attention,taking sabbatical from a budding career, getting lost into anonymity, getting superseded, disease,destruction & death. 
"I have seen it all,borne it all and survived it all".  

                "I do things my way. I do have a plan".
      forty winks at me and I wink back

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